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June 14 FINALLY!!!One of my biggest fears (and worst nightmares) is not being able to breathe. I've been told that the nightmares are caused by having all the respiratory problems I have going on now...allergies, sleep apnea (which is when you stop breathing in your sleep for short periods of time...some of which can be dangerously long!), asthma and C.O.P.D. (Cardio Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder). Let me tell you...have one of THOSE nightmares, and I'm up on my feet, pacing the floor trying to fight off a panic attack before I even realize I'm awake!
Anyway, I had a real scare the other day. The cat ran between my feet, just as I was taking a mouthful of food. I wasn't expecting it, and had been delving into spook central and was a bit on the nerved up side, so it startled me. I jumped, and swallowed. Only problem is, the food wasn't ready to be swallowed, and it stuck in my throat. It was just at that one spot where it won't move either way easily...and talk about terror!!! I was scared spitless! Couldn't breathe, and panicked so bad that I forgot everything I had ever learned about performing the heimlich manouver on oneself. I just kept trying to swallow...and thank all the powers that be, it worked! (I mean, that's obvious, right? or I wouldn't be telling this tale) Of course, that was also my wake-up call here. I live alone, and if anything ever DID happen...who would know? At least, nobody would know if it happened between Friday afternoon to Monday afternoon, which is when my care provider would find out. But, by then, it might be too late. So, here I sit, wondering if I should move back over to the coast, closer to my family. I wouldn't be alone then...but on the down side...do I really want to be in my family's hip pocket? Tough decision there. Okay, and after a year's worth of screaming, hollering, and general run-around, we finally found a doctor who is ready, willing and able to remove this damned kidney...which is definitely growing a nasty cancer. That's due to happen early next month. It is a VERY high risk surgery for me, due to all my respiratory problems, so the doctor is a bit concerned about how it's going to go. Remember that old joke? "The operation was a success, but the patient died." Well, that's what has the doctor concerned, because of my over all health (which is not really bad, but is definitely not as good as it could be) and my respiratory problems. I mean, face it...I have asthma, allergies, severe apnea (where you stop breathing several times a night while you're sleeping) and C.O.P.D. (cardio-obstructive pulmonary disorder)...and they have to keep me breathing through anasthesia and the surgery. Ah, well, it's six of one thing, and half a dozen of the other...I'm only gonna live til I die anyway, right? And, if the kidney and it's hitchhiker isn't removed, it will kill me...or, I could die on the operating table. Either way, I'd be a long time dead, right? Years ago, I ran across a B. C. comic (you'll understand where this comes from in a bit) that I got such a kick out of that I copied it and kept a copy that hangs on my wall no matter where I go. In it, two of the guys are sitting on a hill looking at a full moon. One guy wonders if man will ever conquer the moon, and the other guy says that we've conquered everything else. To which, the first guy replies, "Not quite.....there's still stupidity." That cartoon is one of the truest ones I've ever seen. I run into it all the time. The latest time, it was with my transportation providers. The girl wants all this information that I can't see is important. Plus, she is insisting that they have to have a referral from my regular doctor, and NOT from my Urologist. And, why is that? Her reasons are, they already have a standing referral from my Urologist, but it only covers Urology appointments. And, since this is a pre-op appointment, I have to have my regular doctor okay it. And, he has to provide a valid reason why this can't be handled locally. Hello????? She argued with me, and argued with me and argued with me about this. She just could not grasp (or was deliberatly refusing to grasp) the concept that because this pre-op had to do with the surgery to remove my kidney, that it falls under the urology referral. And, why didn't she get it? Because it was for my KIDNEY...and NOT for a Urological condition!!!! It is definitly too damn late to poor bleach in the gene pool!!! The end result? She has to send a request to the local doctor handling my kidney problems in order to get a referral for any appointments related to my kidney. And, on the bright side, here's a view of an up and coming hot new band from the Pacific Northwest...Kudo's to them, and to the film maker, who creates some pretty good sounds himself The band is Peratus, and you can see them perform their song "Wrought" on youtube: And, for anyone who is interested in good WoW videos, check out CraniusPresents: http://www.youtube.com/user/CraniusPresents Comments (1)
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